Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
