i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
