I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
