i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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