its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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