whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
