We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize