Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
