C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
