i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Houston, we have a blender
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
