is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
