I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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