Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
