Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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