you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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