The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
