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Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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