yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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