it hurts more in the daytime
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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