you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
