So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
