She said her name was "party"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
