rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
