he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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