North Korea, Best Korea!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
