doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
