Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight

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(513): View more from Ohio

why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position

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(303): View more from Colorado

My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"

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(705): View more from Ontario

You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.

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(954): View more from Florida

She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween

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(469): View more from Texas

He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?

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