I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
