I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
