Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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