Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
