you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
