There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
