Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
