we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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