you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
