He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
