According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
