dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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