He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He did a backflip because drugs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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