Christians are straight up FREAKS
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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