my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
