I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
