I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
