So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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