you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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