Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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