And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
