I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Mom said you looked used
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
