Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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