Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
