I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
