Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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