I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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