I met the friendliest cop last night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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