Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
