3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
