Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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