don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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