totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
