I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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