69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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