if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They took my balls.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
